The Love Formula: Biology of Attraction
- luxembourgwoman
- Jul 20, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Aug 13, 2023
Scientists and witches scratched their heads, pondering the mysteries of love for centuries but to no avail! Finally, we can thank the contemporary anthropologists and neuroscientists as they join forces to unravel the bewildering enigma of affection. Welcome to the thrilling world of love biology! Our pals at Harvard have been at this enlightening pursuit for decades with some results to show for.
#love #chemistry #hormones #evolution #attraction #emotions #dopamine #norepinephrine #oxytocin #testosterone #estrogen

You've probably googled "love" and seen the wild array of answers - from jaw-dropping tarot readings to downright magic potions for sale. Trust us, love's scientific basis can be just as mind-boggling as a magic, but there's a method to the madness.
Drumroll, please... it's all about chemistry!
Love doesn't arise from the heart like Shakespeare believed; it's all in that squishy, wobbly thing inside your skull - the brain!
The amazing Dr. Helen Fisher and her team at Harvard's Love Lab have cracked the love code! According to them, love has not one, not two, but three distinct categories: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment.

The Love Hormone Olympics
Lust: Ah, the primal drive! Testosterone and estrogen take center stage here, driving your desires to the edge.
Attraction: Oh la la, things are heating up! Dopamine and norepinephrine join the party, creating a thrilling rollercoaster of emotions. This is the phase where you're obsessed with someone, and your brain is dishing out feel-good chemicals like candy.
Attachment: Buckle ups; we're in for the long haul! Oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, and vasopressin step in, cementing your bond and making you feel all warm and fuzzy. This is where Netflix and chill become your ultimate dream date.
Love Formula Phase 1: Lust
Welcome to the steamy, funky world of Lust - the sizzling desire for some good ol' sexual gratification! We're not alone in this craving; it's like an ancient evolutionary plan for all living things. We're talking about reproduction, baby! Passing on our genes, creating mini-versions of ourselves, and ensuring the survival of our species - it's a reproductive rave!

The hormone party is on baby!
Testosterone and Estrogen: The Dynamic Duo! 👬💃
Now, we all know testosterone as the macho hormone, right? But guess what? It's not just for the fellas; it's a universal libido booster! Whether you're a dude or a dudette, testosterone has got your back (and other body parts!).
And hold up, estrogen ain't just sitting on the sidelines. She's got some tricks up her sleeve too! Ladies, you might feel a little extra frisky when estrogen shows up in town - especially during ovulation. It's like her way of saying, "Hey, I'm ready to party, let's make some magic!"
Love Formula Phase 2: Attraction
Let's look the quirky equation of attraction in our Love Formula. If Lust is the introduction, then Attraction is "The Reward Party." When attraction hits, it's like winning the lottery of love!
Oh, those first few weeks or months of a relationship - they're like an exhilarating rollercoaster that leaves us dazed and obsessed (in a good way!).

Hey, that looks like fun! Let's go!
Meet Dopamine: The Celebrity of Brain Chemistry! 🌟 The real superstar here is dopamine. When we do things that feel oh-so-good, dopamine is unleashed, partying like there's no tomorrow! Spending time with loved ones and engaging in the art of love-making are just a few of dopamine's favorite pastimes.
Dopamine's BFF, Norepinephrine: The Energetic Euphoria! 🚀🌈 Oh, but wait, there's more! Meet dopamine's bestie - the hormone norepinephrine, a sidekick in the brain's reward pathway. When attraction strikes, norepinephrine joins the party too, making us giddy, energetic, and on cloud nine! Say goodbye to your appetite and sleep because you're in a love-induced frenzy!
Serotonin Takes a Dive: The Lovey-Dovey Obsession 😍🍔 But here's the kicker: attraction takes a toll on serotonin, the appetite and mood hormone. It's like a disappearing act, leaving us love-struck and maybe a tad bit obsessive (cue the endless text messages).
Love Formula Phase 3: Attachment
Attachment, the Super Glue of Relationships! Lust and attraction may have their spotlight in the Love Formula, but attachment is like the unsung hero, weaving its magic in all kinds of connections - from friendships to parent-infant bonding to social niceties.

Now, let's roll out the red carpet for the superstar hormone, oxytocin! Known as the "cuddle hormone." When it's showtime, oxytocin steals the stage during sex, breastfeeding, and childbirth (we know, quite the mix!). But hey, they all have one thing in common - bonding! Yep, you heard it right, folks, oxytocin is the secret sauce that binds us together.
Attachment: Separating the Squads! 🏡❌
Your brain has designated different areas for lust, attraction and attachment, like little compartments for each emotion. Why? Because when it comes to family, it's all about attachment, baby! But keep those wild emotions like lust and attraction away - they have no business crashing the family party (awkward family gatherings, anyone?).
Even though the same hormones oxytocin and its partner-in-crime, vasopressin, are the dynamic duo behind this bonding bonanza, they are separated in the origin of their relationship forming. So, whether it's cuddling with your loved ones or cherishing those intimate moments, let attachment be your guiding light. And remember, folks, keep those emotions in their designated lanes!

Love Chaos
Love: The Rollercoaster Ride of Hormonal Chaos! 🎢❤️
Love is like a wild mix of emotions, and it's not all sunshine and rainbows! Cue the dramatic music - jealousy, erratic behavior, and irrationality crash the love party too. They can come along with their not-so-pleasant gang of emotions and moods.
Dopamine: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly! 🤪🤩🤬
Let's talk about dopamine, the hormone that rules the brain's reward pathway - it's like the master puppeteer, pulling the strings of both the good and the bad. We get surges of dopamine for our virtues and those not-so-virtuous vices too (yes, we're looking at you, guilty pleasures!).

Addiction: Love's Bad Cousin! 🎭🍔
You know how they say love is like a drug? Well, they're not far off! Dopamine's pathway has been spotted hanging out with its bestie - addiction. Turns out, the same brain regions light up when we're feeling the thrilling attraction and when drug addicts party with cocaine or go on a sweets binge. Cocaine loves to party with dopamine, keeping the "high" going longer than usual. And hey, attraction to another human is pretty much like falling head over heels for an addictive substance.
Material Goods and Emotional Dependence: Brain Buddies! 💍🛍️
Love's brain regions are getting cozy with material goods too! When we become emotionally dependent on our partners, our brains light up in the same way they do when we're obsessing over that shiny new gadget or fabulous dress. It's like an exclusive club where emotions and shopping bags collide!
Love Withdrawal: Craving the Unseen! 🕳️🤕
Love-struck people in withdrawal might as well be addicts craving their fix. It's like being stuck in a limbo of longing, where you're yearning for the company of someone you can't even see - the struggle is real!
Love, Making Us Dumb Since Forever!
Ever felt embarrassment - the loyal sidekick of love! You know what's funny? When we're sexually aroused (but not necessarily attached), our brain hits the snooze button on critical thinking, self-awareness, and rational behavior.
Say hello to the prefrontal cortex taking a well-deserved vacation! It's like a brainy vacation gone wrong, leaving us a bit clueless.

He is about to send this selfie...
Yes, you heard it right - love turns us into a bunch of dummies! Ever done something ridiculous in the name of love? Oh, we've all been there, my friend! Regrettable actions are just part of the love package - it's like a Shakespearean tragedy that even the stars couldn't escape. Rest in peace, Romeo and Juliet!
Love Formula: Still a Work-in-Progress

So, there is kind of a "formula" for love, but don't get too excited - it's a work in progress. Scientists are still scratching their heads, pondering all the unanswered questions...
It's not just the hormones making things complicated - love itself is like a wild rollercoaster of emotions. The best and the worst, all wrapped up in one chaotic bundle! Love can be the force that gets us bouncing out of bed in the morning or the reason we wish we could stay under the covers forever.
Definition of Love?
Here's the kicker - everyone gets to define love in their own quirky way! It's like creating your unique recipe for a crazy love potion. And hey, if it's all about hormones, maybe we've got "chemistry" with everyone! But whether it goes further or not, that's the spicy sauce of life, up to the rest of you daring love explorers! 😜🚀
References: https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
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